Female group connecting generations learns empowerment, relationships, mental health

Jul. 16—With no opportunities to publicly speak as a young Hispanic woman, Joanna Esparza felt a call to create a space for women like her to connect, speak and become empowered.

So, in 2017, she officially launched SheBecame, a nonprofit helping girls and women to develop themselves personally and professionally through group mentoring and workshops. Typically, an event is held monthly at Modesto Junior College (MJC), where members could socialize and eat for free, but during the pandemic sessions were held via Zoom, Esparza said.

The organization features six series under the SheInitiative titled SheCares, SheLoves, SheLeads, SheMoves, SheLives and SheGives, according to the website. Respectively, the workshops touch on mental health, self-love, leadership styles, fitness, the need to celebrate life and giving to the less fortunate.

Shecame has over 200 participants and volunteers, Esparza said. Despite the majority of the group being predominantly Latino, she said girls and women from all backgrounds are welcome.

"Opportunities to speak in public ... weren't really offered unless you were an established person," Esparza said. "Our vision is to provide ... opportunities where each person can learn, grow and feel motivated to conquer the world."

When 12-year-old Xiomara Villegas first started SheBecame, she said she was very shy and negative about her self image.

"I thought I looked really bad in clothes," she said. "It's been kind of a problem because I keep on giving myself negative comments."

Three years into SheBecame, Villegas said she's turned into a chatterbox and learned to be more kind to herself. The incoming seventh grader shares that although she's never had a boyfriend, she's learning the difference between a bad and a healthy relationship through Project 209, the first SheBecame program to include boys.

"People say ... women are not careful, that they need to be very cautious in relationships, but some people don't know that it can also happen for guys," she said.

Project 209 is intended for those ages 12 through 18.

Esparza said its curriculum comes from Love Notes, a comprehensive education on relationships, preventing dating violence and improving impulse control. Even though Villegas feels a bit awkward learning about relationships when she hasn't had one yet, she thinks the warning signs of an abusive relationship can also apply to friendships.

Jazmyn Muhammad said she, too, attended Project 209 and enjoyed seeing her younger brother and boys like him opening up about relationships.

"I really enjoyed how we kind of dived into our preferences even though we haven't been in relationships," she said, adding that she now feels prepared for when it happens.

It's what Bonnie Arbuckle said she wishes for her teen daughter, as she recalls the many mistakes and lack of boundaries she failed to set with boyfriends growing up.

She said there may be women like her in the group, who don't know what a healthy relationship looks like because they were raised by young mothers.

"I think every kid should get to experience this," she said. "It definitely raises your consciousness."

Arbuckle, a recent elementary education graduate from MJC, said the support from members also helped her through her journey as a nontraditional college student. She knows she can go to anyone, even the ones she doesn't talk to often, and they'd be there with open arms.

"People just get so ... withdrawn into their own life and when you're in this group, everybody's like a family," she said. "If it stopped, I'd definitely be missing."

To learn more about the organization's various programs and upcoming events, go to the website at: www.shebecame.com.

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